
I remember being a fussy eater as a little kid. I liked Kraft cheese slices and Chef Boyardee and that’s about it. Thanksgiving was problematic for me because it was all about the chow, yet featured neither processed cheese slices nor processed pasta food. As a grown man with a much more sophisticated palette (it now includes pizza), I can partake in the T-Givin’ eatin’ tradition with aplomb. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a grownup, it’s that Thanksgiving means gud eatin’.
It is absolutely appropriate that Thanksgiving is a wholly [EM]American[/EM] tradition. It is, after all, a holiday celebrating eating. Sure it’s about thanking our lucky stars for our bounty of yadda yadda, and honoring our togetherness with the natives. And I do both – especially the part about the natives – hard. But in the end it’s an eating contest. How many plates of of turkey, gravy, potatoes, yams, cranberries, rolls, and pickled what-have-you can you cram down? Hell, we even have a food item made special for this day: the aptly-named [EM]stuffing[/EM].
My family doesn’t even bother to put the food on the table anymore. We just build a big buffet line on the kitchen counter and everyone loads up. And every year we quickly realize how woefullly inadequate regular plates are for this task. A dinner plate holds three, perhaps four portions of food, and this is the reason it’s not called a “feast plate.” At feastin’ time we need spots for between ten and twelve food portions, preferably with some kind of sluice trough to catch all the oozing gravy-cran-yam sauce. I’m thinking about inventing this.
But we don’t stop at one plate. Many go back for seconds, thirds, whatever. And that’s before desserts are factored into the equation. It really is a case study in over-consumption, and I’m surprised more people don’t die on Thanksgiving.
One thing is for certain though: hot, fresh, juicy turkey tastes good. I ate a lot of it and I hope you did too.